Archive for the ‘Run Reports’ Category
January 30th, 2011 | 
Author: Hash Number 504
Hares: Galloping Knobrot
What a great hash
Start Time: 1500
Location: On the Beach
Posted in 
UNI-HASH, HELD AT ANYER, SATURDAY 29TH OF MAY 2010 BEFORE THE RUN Most of the usual riff-raff arrived early at the INFAMOUS “Blue Moon ” Bar to enjoy a bit of good tucker or to sample what is , I believe, some of the best and coldest draught Bintang available in all of Indonesia!!- Well done owners and bar-staff. As it was a point to point run, sometime after 2 and before 3, after good sales of the excellent KHHH gear, a veritable convoy of vehicles headed out the gate, turned left, and down the track, turned left off the main road and headed bush, down what turned out to be one of the roughest roads in the area -Our trusty Merc. did it easily as we swigged on the last few coldies in the ever present Esky We arrived at the start point, in a clearing in a nice little kampong/village, whereupon more drinking and fellowship ensued. We quickly became a side-show/circus attraction for the many local folk and kiddies,especially the odd old-fart rushing out of the group looking for a covering bush in which to relieve himself. THE RUN 3-00 pm arrived all too quickly ( Time enjoyed with friends is like a toilet roll, isn’t it ?- The nearer to the end you get, the quicker it goes !!!) -It was announced that it was a 3 run event, long, medium and short and off pounded, crawled or strolled the excited 90 something participants into the jungle. The short run was some 8 plus Km. of verdant lush and pristine country, thru many rice paddies, with the magnificent hills soaring ahead making for a great backdrop -we saw lots of wildlife, buffalo, the ever laughing and happy kids, made lots of river crossings on the somewhat dubious bamboo one or 3 piece bridges. At one such crossing, I saw a veritable stampede to get around Frankfarter and over before him,just in case !!!! – A welcome drink stop loomed ahead, but by the time the writer arrived, alas there was no Bintang left. Off we all went for what turned out to be a pleasant second half with few hills , and we finally popped out on the main road, maybe a half a Km from the “Bluey”. The fast running bastards had already arrived, many were washed and into the many Bintang barrels, cold beers being hastily filled by the gorgeous gals in their Tartan minis, more the size of a belt than a dress ( HOT !!!!) All runners ( and more as it turned out, as some notables missed out on them altogether) received one of the amazingly gaudy versatile and rare KHHH UNI HASH ” Smoking Jackets” -SMOKIN alright, they are a great addition to the bulging Hash cupboard at home, and something to be worn on many an occasion – I for one have hardly taken mine off, much to the wife’s chagrin – We were all dragged away from the beer by General discharges,many somewhat reluctantly, to form the Circle, whereupon I was press-ganged into being the Scribe, hence this diatribe of BS !! There were 5 Virgins to begin the DDs -Maria from Jakarta, Mie from Cilegong, Li Chin chinese from Perth, John from UK, Tamara from Canberra, and I think one other, Ifah from jakarta, a Gym friend of Petrified and a travelling companion in the German Goat Killing machine of Bilge balls. They were all presented with KHHH window stickers and cloth badges as is the custom. A piss pourer was appointed, I think Private parts, and latecomers were given a DD – Gls were given a DD, as they “Never drink alone” Kim from J HH Harriets joined us and was given a DD. All Aussies and Pommies were called to the circle, made to shake hands and forget the animosity over the recent 2/20 cricket shock defeat – much noise and general disruption ensued, with order finally being restored by General discharges, after stirring renditions of “We are the Champions ” and “Ole Ole “. A DD was given to all Kiwis and Packies present, and the Aussie Gay son was sung. KatoyFucker spotted some Wanking Virgins, so there was another DD for them. There was a charge by Foreskin over the Cannes Film festival, and another of the Virgins was caught Wanking !!-A beer waster was caught, to the calls of Satu Lagi, Satu Lagi !! All Queenslanders were given a DD as they cant spell Beer, only scrawl XXXX -Koncrete Kock was given a DD, followed by a charge for any one from BP, world’s worst polluters and leak pluggers !! All “Oilies” were given a charge and a DD . The “Last-In “, Fred from KL was given a worthy DD – there was a Charge to the GL, regarding Sweepers and missing Malaysians. The circle was huge and chaos ruled supreme despite Brian’s many efforts. Rotten Prick then charged MGM and received a DD. Ade from the Wednesday Pussie Hash charged all GMs and another DD followed. The first part of Hash Cash followed with melon balls and Auditurd involved -94 paid and 92 ran, or vica versa. First to pay was MGM, Last to pay was Elephant Man – DD’s, and it was ascertained that Fred hadn’t paid at all – a DD to Fred ( Flintstone??) -Middle to pay was Balls of Mass Destruction – DD – ” Here edith the lesson” – a DD to Hash Cash !! KatoyFucker, Koncrete Kock General Discharges and Suka Pussy were all given DDs, and Gen Discharges scored another for taking over MGM’s job – all Gms were again called into the circle as ..you guessed it….” Gms never drink alone !!” Private parties were going on all over the place, and were called in for a DD -The circle was again tightened and Hashers were called back again from the beer or even from attempting to get an early feed. Popcorn was still being handed around, and Ifeh my car buddy was caught Double Wanking. Ade of the Pussies then proceeded to frighten the bejezus out of everyone, driving her black Kijang right thru the circle, to cries of outrage !! A DD was given to all Thai folk wearing yellow and red-Fred was given a DD for wearing an Orange T/Shirt !! A “Long and Short” DD was given to Juicy Beaver and the very tall Virgin. A famous French song was sung for “the French Guy”, and various DDs followed including one for no reason to Galloping Knob Rot- The circle was again tightened. Easy Rider and a 3rd time hasher were caught talking about their lack of “Virginity”. An outstanding rendition of ” All Aussies are Poofters” was given by Sheeps Kin, followed by one about ” All Kiwis do not sink like turds.” – A DD to Sheeps Kin – Well done too !! All Poofters ( from Oz) were called into the circle -6 or 8 enjoyed yet another thirst quenching DD -Koncrete Kock gave a ” Newbie”a DD -Auditurd and Tina Tuna were then called into the circle, something about 5 years, being old and fat and big gutted ?? The barmaid Sophie, in a superb Mini kilt, enough to bring a tear to the eye of many an old scottish perve,was dragged into the inner circle to show off her new high heels. A DD to all ” sepos” – Yanks was given, ” cos they are Americans !!”- I think this was given by Julie AKA Rollback, followed by the Dum Dum Dum song, well known Yankee theme song !! – A DD to Koncrete Kock followed for who knows why?? The GM of the Betawi ( food stealers ) called his Hashers into the Circle, whereupon Craig insisted that all Betawi people never CUM – a big song about smelly pussy lovers ensued. A DD was then given to all UNI Hashers NOT wearing their wonderful new “Smoking Jackets”, followed by more drinking – I was still trying to get out of the Scribe Job, as it was dark, bat shit was raining down on my pages , I couldn’t read what I was writing, and I was missing out on too much beer, but Roll Back gave me some great advice that I wouldn’t be able to remember a thing when I got home, nor read my writing, so ” Quote…..Just make up a whole lot of SHIT !!’ Unquote…Thanks for that Jules !! Kim, GM of Pussie Hash was given a DD. There were ” Look-a-like” DDs to Fucking Shirley, and it was considered that General Discharges looked like Tosser, whereby a wrestling match took place ( as I sad, it had descended into all out anarchy and chaos by now), in the middle of the circle on the ground, with Tosser being declared the Loser !! DDs followed yet again !! It was still a huge circle in the large front paddock of the ” Bluey”, with some much needed nice cooling breezes coming in. A ” Chinese Fire Drill ???” was next, where everyone just ad to ” Run like Fuck !!” Kim gave Suka Pussy a DD, about why he was back with the Virgins, something about super long !!-Melon Balls was shouting about the circle being too fucking long, it was all BS and that he was hungry -”LETS EAT” he was shouting. Run reports were at last imminent, and it was mooted that only on from each group should be given as the tucker was almost on, and the Betawi food thieves had already begun to graze. An ABO poem was well recited by Sheeps Kin -all GL had a DD, as they never drink alone !!! The masturbating song was sung for Virgins, and another DD for Suka Pussy -Another car was driven thru the circle, without loss of life. RUN DISCUSSION To cries ( on deaf ears) of Tighten the Circle….Bring it in…the Run Discussions began in earnest. Auditurd suggested that the Hares had gone to a lot of trouble, whereby the Hares were called in and a lot more singing ensued- The dreaded ICE had arrived and the Hares were sat upon them, alas only one brave enough to drop dacks !! – A DD to the Hares Private Parts went first – He called it a BIG FUCK UP, than deemed it a Sensational Run – A hare was seen to almost pass out full length on the ice, and the once proud member of the Hare with no shorts or undies on, had decided it was a turtle and had all but disappeared inside itself. There was a song for/by Auditurd about Suicide Bombers. I think it was Sheeps Kin that said ” there was paper from arsehole to breakfast time”, and that the short run was 8.1 km with NO BEER – Cries of Hash Shit..Hash Shit followed. Master Delaney described it as an excellent run -general High Fives were in abundance, 2 more guys were called to the ice, and a Hare was heard to be Ecstatic about the result W Anker got a DD – the circle was agin in a state of funny drunken dissaray, with private parties too many to police happening all around – Calls of ” THE FOOD IS WAITING ” and the BETAWIS have already eaten it all could be heard over the Mellee. General Discharges was finally prised off his block of ice, whereupon he proceeded to slap his arse in a vain attempt to get his circulation going again – latest reports from his hospital bed are that he has major frost bite and they may need to amputate some -He is quoted as being happy with the outcome as he was going to book in for an arse reduction soon anyway as he couldn’t fit into his ON-ON shorts any more !! Hello Sailor gave his run report – “Excellent country- Excellent Run !!” I gave it a Good run, but was getting sick of the bat shit dropping onto my head and pages of scribble -someone else called it a Fucked Run, a not so good run, a good run – the overall opinion was that it was a GOOD RUN. Public Transport was given a new Sponsors jacket, and was heartily thanked. – Swing Low , sweet chariot was heard ringing out around Anyer, sounding like a band of drunken Welshmen,and a final DD was given to the GM for a job well done. The Circle closed at 7-40pm -Contary to popular opinion, the Betawis hadn’t scoffed all the food, and there was plenty for all, and it was great food too -the Band was in full swing, with Hashers fighting for the Mike -Not may of them can carry a tune, but they sure tried -it was a very funny party, with a lot of gibberish and dancing, with all enjoying the rock and roll dancing by the mini kilted bar gals the most -I think the Song of the night was ” Why Why Why Delilah” it went on and on, with no-one really wanting it all to end – there are some great photos on face book which say it all-ALL in All, a memorable HASH- To quote the usually early leaver and quiet man, the German Bilge Balls…. Zees vos a reeeeeely good party !! ( excuse my German) On our trip home, much chat about the day and lots more coldies were enjoyed….BRING ON THE NEXT ANYER HASH !! They are the BEST !!!! Press-ganged SCRIBE FOR THE DAY,, Bruce AKA Fuck Know
Run report No. 490
Run No: 500 and 501
Place: Blue Moon
Date: 20-21 November 2010
Hare: The First Panzer Grenadiers
Grand Master: General Discharges
Run No: 498 (yes, in two runs it’s the big 500)
Place: Blue Moon (Red Dress Run)
Date: 18 September 2010
It was run number 495 and ‘Oh No’ was the oft heard cry. The late notice announcement that Gay Sucker had taken over the Hare duties from Galloping Nobrot filled all with despondency. More out of curiosity than expectation, 30 odd Hashers turned up to see if Gay Sucker could do it again. Could he lay the worst hash in Krakatau history … again!
Title: KHHH Run No 497
Location: Patra Anyer (south of Blue Moon)
Description: Hare: Gay Sucker and Galloping Knobrot
Start Time: 1500
Date: 2010-04-17
End Time: 2000
Title: KHHH Run No 492
Location: Bandulu (inland from Marbela Hotel)
Description: Hares: Melon Balls; Gay Sucker
Start Time: 1500
Date: 2010-03-20
End Time: 2000
Date: 20 Feb 10 Start Time: 1500
Title: KHHH Run No 491
Location: Kelapa Gading Pantai Wisata (Anyer, Banten!)
Hares: Rollback
Run Report Number 489. The Where’s the Drinks stop Run
Date: Saturday 19 Dec 2009
Location: Mr W.Anker and Mrs Mowgli’s Mansion, Anyer
